61 - Family

HELPING

My role as helper is not to do things for the person I am trying to help, but to be things; not trying to control and change his actions, but through understanding and awareness to change my reactions. I will change my negatives to positives; fear to faith; contempt for what he may do to respect for the potential within him or her; hostility to understanding; and manipulation or over-protectiveness to release with love, not trying to make him fit a standard or image, but giving him an opportunity to pursue his own destiny, regardless of what that choice may be.

I will change my dominance to encouragement; panic to serenity; the inertia of despair to the energy of my own personal growth; and self-justification to self-understanding.

Self-pity blocks effective action. The more I indulge in it, the more I feel that the answer to my problems is a change in others and in society, not in myself. Thus, I become a hopeless case.

Exhaustion is the result when I use my energy in mulling over the past with regret, or in trying to figure ways to escape a future that has yet to arrive. Projecting an image of the future, and anxiously hovering over it, for fear that it will or it won't come true uses all of my energy and leaves me unable to live today. Yet living today is the only way to have a life.

I will have no thought for the future actions of others, neither expecting them to be better or worse as time goes on, for in such expectations I am really trying to create. I will love and let be.

All people are always changing. If I try to judge them I do so only on what I think I know of them, failing to realize that there is much I do not know. I will give others credit for attempts at progress and for having had many victories which are unknown to me.

I too am always changing, and I can make that change a constructive one, if I am willing. I CAN CHANGE MYSELF, others I can only love.

(Families Anonymous Literature. One of the 5 Basic Readings)

77 - Family Resemblance

To my memory, I've so far taught four sets of siblings (that I know of) here in Korea:

YongSan and BongSan (Identical twins discernible only by the soul patch BongSan sports.)

and SuBin and ChulGi

"Teacher teacher!" ChulGi exclaimed. "Next series, my older sister will be in your class."

"She will, will she?" I asked. "What's her name?"

"Her English name is 'Star'" He said, proudly. "And she is very good at English." I wondered if the personality would match the moniker and 'Star' did not disappoint. She proved to be a bubbly girl filled with interesting stories and observations. When I mentioned her brother one day in class, she rolled her eyes.

"So annoying!" she said.

"He's very proud of you." I told her.

In the world of sisters, I remember one of the sweetest moments in my sister life happened when my sister came home from one of her first college classes.

"Some professor asked me if I was your sister." she said.

"Really?" I asked. "Who?"

She told me and I gave her a hug. For some reason, that family resemblance recognized meant a lot to me.

Notes from the Homefront, part 2010

Have been home for a bit over a week and it's been a blast.  Two snow days, a trip to Minagic, and a visit to upstate NY.  What more could a girl ask for?   

Right now, am visiting the lil' sis in Nashville with momma and our aunt Merry.   We've gone on a "thrift shop tour" of the city, visited the puppy park, Centennial Park, (including the Parthenon).  We ate dinner at the Rainforest Cafe, which was campy over the top tropical fun complete with simulated thunderstorms, chattering monkeys, prism rainbows and aquarium walls.  We swung by the Gaylord Opryland hotel for a quick walk-through, just to say we'd seen it.  Caught a water-light show, and almost got lost in the epic vast-ness of the place, with its glass ceilings and winding portico walkways.  

We're planning on church tomorrow, then driving home super early on Monday morning, starting out around 3AM.  It's a 14 hour drive and I have a phone interview scheduled for Tuesday at 8AM.  It'll be tight but I'll be there, standing up and smiling, with my resume taped to the wall.

As I prepare to transition home within the next six months,  ("home" -- how I love the sound of that word....) am actively searching for my next landing pad. I know that my preference is to stay in the northeastern US and I am also thinking that the "love of childhood" bug has bitten me and I might also want to stay in education.

We'll see how it all pans out.

Korea is forever a part of me... but home is where I belong.    

    

  

Serious, Non-Life Threatening Conditions, Part 7

Dear Friends and Family in Michigan, Florida, Calicalifornia, and beyond:

(Mom, Mezza, Aunt Dianne &Uncle Art, Aunt Rosi &Uncle Ed, Aunt Merry & Uncle Brandt, Aunt Kathi & Uncle Jerry, coolest cousins in the world Eddie, Julie, Josh and Jess) 

I am absolutely fine. 

Kim Jong-Il and his various incarnations are beating the war drums, but I feel like that's really all they're bringing to the table right now.  

Nothing wrong over here except a serious (but non-life threatening) case of The Lazies.  

Prescription Cure: A good, swift kick in the backside.   

Prognosis: Good, as long as said cure is received.  

Am loving the new location and job.  Co-workers are smashing good fun and church is faith incarnate.  

Hoping you all are well!

~ChrisTIanna

Christmas: Set Down

Christmas Eve at my place.  I made salmon, mashed potatoes, spinach salad, carrots, and broccoli with cheese.  My sister remarked "that's not Christmas"  No, but I had to stick with narrow foods that would fit in my toaster oven. 

Prep:

Felt the need to decorate for the occasion and spent a few evenings making (poor man paper) ornaments.  

   

Baby Christmas Tree

Got the bright idea for a fireplace at the last minute (as inspired by Tabbie)  

    

Good shot of the decorations (and people too, I guess ;) ) 

 

(from left: Tabatha, Chrissey, Jenny B, Julia, Jenny Y, Adina) 

There were ten people total: 9 were other English instructors from our International church and 1 was a cool friend of one of one of the church girls.  9 girls, one amazing guy, and a visit from one Mr. Santa Clause brought us all full on full-sized presents.  Santa brought me a copy of O. Henry short stories and a Corningware casserole dish (bearing a large "MADE IN AMERICA" logo) 

(clockwise from left: Heather, Chrissey, Andrew, Adina, Jenny B, Me, Julia, Jenny Y, Joanna) 

We also did a stocking stuffer activity where everyone brought ten small gifts and put them in everyone else's stocking so that at the end of the evening, everyone had ten different small gifts in their stocking.   

Dessert was cake (Duncan Heins with frosting!) and cookies.

 

After opening stockings/presents, everyone left 5:30am on the 25th, at which time I snatched a few hours of sleep before getting up and cooking again for our annual Moonkkang Christmas dinner at the lovely Hof n Joy.  It was actually a super affair, with delicious turkey roasted by Michelle, and a "Bad Santa" gift exchange emceed by Jammie and Lynn.  Everyone brought a gift and had their name put in a hat.  One at a time, a name was pulled and the person would go up to the stage to choose and unwrap a gift.  The next person had the choice of either choosing another wrapped gift, or stealing a gift from the person that came before them, and so on.  It worked in your favor to be called toward the end, as you had a better selection of gifts to choose from, although a gift could only be stolen three times before it found its permanent home.

Brick, christmas tree, great friends, and a cozy atmosphere.  Not bad for being away from home.  Actually, I would consider it almost better than home because it was an unexpected departure from the same old holiday routine.  Being far away from family and people I've known and loved for years has made me that much more thankful for the new friends and traditions this year.  

I made my Christmas cards because I couldn't find any that said what I wanted to say.  

"May peace prevail on earth" in seven languages...  and as many more as we can learn and tell. 

May the peace of Christmas stay with you all year long.  

Spring!

Great big hello to family reading in Michigan! 

My lovely and talented Aunt Merry, the creator of unbelievable embroidery, quilts, and wooden sculptures,  and my wonderful and wise 91 year old grandmother, famous for such quotes as: "Don't worry, just go out with him.  He has friends."  

You guys put the jam in my sandwich :)     

And now to entertain you, some snaps from this weekend.  

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood... 

The hills are alive! 

Pedestrian footbridge.  

Under the bridge (good song, btw) 

View of the mountain from the bridge.  

Me: on top of the bridge. 

Me: under the bridge.